Sam the Storyteller
Theatre is my wife; fiction is my mistress.
Recent Entries 
Torchwood
Big Bang is up!

For those just joining us, TARDIS Big Bang is a fic-and-art festival where writers submit a fanfic of 20k words or more, and then artists illustrate or vid the fic. You can find a more complete linkslist over at Copperbadge, but if you just want to find my fic and art they are located here:

Title: Sing Morning Out Of Night
Fandom: Torchwood, New Who, Sarah Jane Adventures
Rating: PG-13 (mostly for dark themes; no explicit sex)
Summary: A strange deck of Tarot cards, a dying TARDIS, and UNIT's invasion of a coastal Welsh village lead Torchwood to investigate the disappearance of the Doctor, with some help from Sarah Jane and Luke Smith. This is a new incarnation of the Doctor, however, and none of them are prepared for what they find as they unravel the mystery.

TARDIS Tarot card by [info]caersmane
Book Cover by [info]mad_jaks
Back Cover by [info]mizz_destiny. (slightly spoilery, this one)

Enjoy!
30th-May-2009 08:21 am - In Every Minute; PG-13
Torchwood
Title: In Every Minute
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jack will live forever, but that's no reason not to live for now. Shortfic.
Notes: Thanks to [info]51stcenturyfox and [info]cruentum for betas.

You spent five years with John Hart. )
Torchwood
Title: I Make No Promises As To Historical Veracity
Rating: PG
Summary: Ianto copes by inventing the coffee machine. Gwen copes by crossdressing. Shortfic.
Notes: Written in response to [info]rm posting a steampunky coffeemaker and demanding a Torchwood steampunk AU. Which is not really AU so much as an unexplored branch, really. The original comment is on that post, this is the expanded and enhanced version.

What are you doing? )
15th-Feb-2009 08:49 am - Interrogation
Torchwood
Title: Interrogation
Rating: Light R
Summary: After Jack returns and John Hart departs, Ianto and Owen both get to confront Jack about his immortality in their own way. (Jack/Ianto)
Notes: Something that occurred to me recently was that none of the Torchwood agents except Gwen really had the opportunity to process Jack's immortality when they found out about it, and they would naturally have questions when he returned. Thanks to [info]mcgonagalls_cat for betaz!

Interrogation )
14th-Feb-2009 02:05 pm - Good Boy; NCIS, R.
Alternate Universe
Title: Good Boy
Rating: R for violence (no sex)
Summary: Tony needs Gibbs. Gibbs has his uses for Tony, too. This is dark and pretty gristly.
Author's Notes: Set basically in the same universe as the NCIS/Dexter crossover. I'm...quite disturbed that this came out of my head, in fact.

Snapshot. )
10th-Feb-2009 08:31 pm - Style (Dexter/NCIS)
Crossover Fic
Title: Style
Rating: PG-13 for gore and violence
Summary: Dexter makes a friend.
Fandoms: Dexter, NCIS

I knew the first time we met that he was a kindred spirit. )
6th-Jan-2009 10:05 pm - I Were The Heavens; Torchwood, PG
Torchwood
Title: I Were The Heavens
Rating: PG for language
Summary: A sixteen-year-old boy from Boeshane is going to win the war. The Time Agency has a vested interest in children like him -- and so does the Admiral of the Fleet.

I Were The Heavens )
Doctor Who
Summary: The Doctor joins some Kings of Orient following a star, helps a quartet of sociologists, gets thrown in prison, meets shepherds (ditto: talking sheep), finds a baby in a stable, uses Christmas carols for nefarious ends, and learns The True Meaning Of Camel.
Notes: I can't take credit for the turtles; it references an urban-legendy anecdote, by way of Stephen Fry on Quite Interesting. Thanks to [info]hija_paloma for beta-reading.

The Gift of the Mad Guy )
12th-Nov-2008 07:05 pm - Wonders Never Cease; R.
Doctor Who
Title: Wonders Never Cease
Rating: R for safety. TEH SEX OMG.
Summary: Kissing the Doctor isn't like kissing other people. Coda to 3.02, The Shakespeare Code. Doctor/Will Shakespeare.

He knows how little room there is in there
For crude and futile animosities
And how much for the joy of being whole,
And how much for long sorrow and old pain.

-- Edwin Arlington Robinson, "Ben Jonson Entertains A Man From Stratford"

William was working. )
12th-Nov-2008 07:03 pm - Bar TARDIS; G.
Doctor Who
Title: Bar TARDIS
Rating: G
Summary: When Rose starts feeling a little too much kinship for the banana tree in the kitchen, the Doctor takes her for a quiet drink. A really quiet drink.

First posted 4.7.07

Bar TARDIS )
1st-Nov-2008 09:40 am - The Impressionist Mechanism
Gen Fic
Title: The Impressionist Mechanism
Rating: PG
Fandom: Harry Potter (PoA film specific)
Summary: What possesses a relatively sensible grown man to buy spine candles for a children's classroom?
Notes: First posted in Copperbadge and never archived here, I found it when resurrecting Copperbadge and thought I would repost. I believe it was written for a fic contest on FictionAlley, having to do with "visuals from the PoA film" which had just come out.

First posted 6.14.2004.

The Impressionist Mechanism )
31st-Oct-2008 06:00 pm - 88 Lines About 44 Fandoms
Crossover Fic
Title: 88 Lines About 44 Fandoms
Rating: PG? How do I even rate this?
Summary: A filk of 88 Lines About 44 Women by The Nails.
Author's Notes: My brain. My brain, you guys.
Author's Notes a year and a half later: This is embarrassing. I can't believe I'm posting it. AND YET I AM. One more thing found post-Hack and needing to be archived.

First posted: 3.1.07

88 Lines About 44 Fandoms )
31st-Oct-2008 05:59 pm - Rome and Dead Zone ficlets; PG-13
Slash Fic
Two short fics I found in my post-Hack excavations; thought I'd stash them here.

Title: What's Good For Vorenus
Fandom: Rome
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Titus Pullo wants what's good for his Centurion. (Pullo/Vorenus)

First posted 11.14.2005

Titus Pullo is not as stupid as he looks... )

Title: I'm Having A Vision
Fandom: The Dead Zone
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Bruce knew he was in trouble when Sara mistook his date for Johnny. (Bruce->Johnny)

Bruce knows Johnny better than anyone... )
Crossover Fic
Title: Wolves at the Door
Genre: Lord Peter/Harry Potter crossover of sorts.
Summary: When Auror Investigator Potter's hands are legally tied in the case of an Oxford professor accused of murder, the elegant and inquisitive Draco Malfoy is asked to investigate. Towing his faithful manservant Weasley along behind him, he leaves his comfortable flat in Sosh Alley to venture into the wilds of academia and determine whether Professor Lupin really is capable of murder during the full moon.
Notes: "In a way, I blame blythely for this, because it's the sort of idea she would usually come up with." That was the original note that came attached to this fic, which was never archived at Storyteller but was recovered in my post-Hack excavations. It's not complete, nor will it be completed; it's just a vignette, meant to entertain. Enjoy :)

First posted 4.20.2005

Wolves at the Door )
31st-Oct-2008 05:51 pm - Compromise; Torchwood, PG
Torchwood
Title: Compromise
Rating: PG
Characters: Team; mild Jack/Ianto
Summary: After the Beacons, Ianto's inner censor is offline and Jack refuses to go home. German expressionism ensues.

Compromise )
31st-Oct-2008 09:05 am - The Theory of Two Centres 8/8
Torchwood
Title: The Theory of Two Centres
Pairings: Canon. Set post-S2.
Summary: Ianto Jones woke up in a bed that wasn't his, in a flat that wasn't his, with a headache he definitely didn't remember deserving.
Notes: Thanks to [info]la_rainette, [info]adina_atl, and [info]spiderine for advice on fighting, firearms, italics, titles, eggs, and grammar. All are important!

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight )
Torchwood
Title: The Theory of Two Centres
Pairings: Canon. Set post-S2.
Summary: A scholar who carries a gun. Yes, I understand. It's very hard to be both. To want to know, and to know that you can't know, that sometimes the cost of knowing is too high.
Notes: Thanks to [info]la_rainette, [info]adina_atl, and [info]spiderine for advice on fighting, firearms, italics, titles, eggs, and grammar. All are important!

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven )
Torchwood
Title: The Theory of Two Centres
Pairings: Canon. Set post-S2.
Summary: This is the JOKE chapter that I used in a Hallowe'en prank. It is NOT THE REAL CHAPTER SEVEN.
Notes: Thanks to [info]la_rainette, [info]adina_atl, and [info]spiderine for advice on fighting, firearms, italics, titles, eggs, and grammar. All are important!

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven )
30th-Oct-2008 12:46 pm - The Theory of Two Centres 6/8
Blue Moon Coffee
Title: The Theory of Two Centres
Pairings: Canon. Set post-S2.
Summary: "Water pistols," Ianto observed. "We're going to save the world using water pistols."
Notes: Thanks to [info]la_rainette, [info]adina_atl, and [info]spiderine for advice on fighting, firearms, italics, titles, eggs, and grammar. All are important!

Chapter Five

Chapter Six )
28th-Oct-2008 12:46 pm - The Theory of Two Centres 5/8
Torchwood
Title: The Theory of Two Centres
Pairings: Canon. Set post-S2.
Summary: Well, there was the comforting thought that perhaps he hadn't been mad before and was now going mad, because Ianto Jones had always been good at taking two bad situations and combining them.
Notes: Thanks to [info]la_rainette, [info]adina_atl, and [info]spiderine for advice on fighting, firearms, italics, titles, eggs, and grammar. All are important!

Chapter Four

Chapter Five )
26th-Oct-2008 12:04 pm - The Theory of Two Centres 4/8
Torchwood
Title: The Theory of Two Centres
Pairings: Canon. Set post-S2.
Rating: R
Summary: A week ago in realtime he'd been wearing business suits. Now he was wearing Jack's t-shirt.
Notes: Thanks to [info]la_rainette, [info]adina_atl, and [info]spiderine for advice on fighting, firearms, italics, titles, eggs, and grammar. All are important!

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

Chapter Four )
24th-Oct-2008 12:52 pm - The Theory of Two Centres 3/8
Blue Moon Coffee
Title: The Theory of Two Centres
Pairings: Canon. Set post-S2.
Summary: "And I miss it so fucking much," Jack said brokenly. "And I have for so long -- "
Notes: Thanks to [info]la_rainette, [info]adina_atl, and [info]spiderine for advice on fighting, firearms, italics, titles, eggs, and grammar. All are important!

Chapter Three )
22nd-Oct-2008 07:36 am - The Theory of Two Centres 2/8
Torchwood
Title: The Theory of Two Centres
Pairings: Canon. Set post-S2.
Summary: There are things you and Jack don't talk about, but he'd probably really like it if you helped him on with his coat. It's something you used to do.
Notes: Thanks to [info]la_rainette, [info]adina_atl, and [info]spiderine for advice on fighting, firearms, italics, titles, eggs, and grammar. All are important!

Chapter One

Chapter Two )
20th-Oct-2008 05:49 pm - The Theory of Two Centres 1/8
Torchwood
Title: The Theory of Two Centres
Pairings: Canon. Set post-S2.
Rating: R for eventual sex; also violence.
Summary: Ianto Jones woke up in a bed that wasn't his, in a flat that wasn't his, wearing clothing that definitely wasn't his.
Notes: Thanks to [info]la_rainette, [info]adina_atl, and [info]spiderine for advice on fighting, firearms, italics, titles, eggs, and grammar. All are important!

Chapter One )
18th-Oct-2008 07:12 pm - Not What You're Thinking; PG-13.
Torchwood
Title: Not What You're Thinking
Summary: Gwen can't help but ask. Ianto can't quite resist telling.
Rating: PG-13
Ships/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen, Tosh.
Notes: Coming up with this made me feel like a god damned genius. I love a tidy fanfic. *dusts hands*

Not What You're Thinking )
Torchwood
Title: It Was Not Death, For I Stood Up
Rating: PG
Summary: In the months leading up to Suzie's suicide, Ianto comes under her wing and learns from her example.
Author's notes: Originally these scenes were part of a larger fic, where they served as interludes and flashbacks, but as they had nothing, ever, to do with the rest of the fic I culled them out and reworked them into something standalone. This owes much to Lady Paperclip's "Acquaint Me With Your Fuck-Ups", in which she suggested that Ianto and Suzie probably had a pretty fascinating relationship dynamic going on.

It Was Not Death, For I Stood Up )
7th-Oct-2008 08:21 pm - The Quiet Room
Torchwood
Title: The Quiet Room
Rating: R
Couplings: (please to note that not all of these are ships) Gwen/Owen, Ianto/Tosh, Ianto/Jack, Ianto/Gwen/Jack
Summary: "Inside this room, no one talks," Ianto said, his voice carefully neutral. "It isn't allowed. What goes on here stays here and, outside of it, never happened. Other than that there are no rules, in a manner of speaking."
Author's Notes: This was written in response to [info]exuberantself, who said here: Personally, I "believe" that there is a reasonably large room in the back end of the Hub where there is nothing but a lamp and a very nice bed. Inside the room, no one speaks and there are no consequences. At the end of a particularly trying day, the members of Torchwood Cardiff, in whole or part, go to it. This does not follow the details of the rest precisely, but does chase the spirit of the thing.

The Quiet Room )
4th-Oct-2008 09:01 am - History Drabble: Calm Acceptance
Historical Fic
Another fic that never made it into the archives, but OMG I am so glad I found this one, I really like it.

Drabble: Calm Acceptance. First Posted 7.24.2003.

The History Channel tells us that on February 8, 1587, Mary Queen of Scots was beheaded for treason. Her son, King James VI of Scotland, calmly accepted his mother's execution.

"Jamie, I'm going to kill your mother for treason," said Elizabeth.

James, King of Scotland, looked thoughtful.

"Can I have her room?" he asked.
Crossover Fic
I don't think this was ever posted here -- I just rediscovered it post-hack. Enjoy. :)

Title: The Book We'll Never See
Summary: JK Rowling, Terry Pratchett, and Neil Gaiman have a quiet drink down the pub.

First posted 7.23.2003; just after OotP came out.

The Book We'll Never See )
Crossover Fic
Title: The Stainless Steel Rat Lives Forever
Authors: [info]copperbadge and [info]madripoor_rose
Fandoms: Torchwood and the Stainless Steel Rat series of novels.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: It was a quiet Tuesday afternoon when a beautiful, heavily armed woman fell through the Rift, and Jack swore in Esperanto and tried to hide under his desk.

The Stainless Steel Rat Lives Forever )
29th-Aug-2008 09:19 am - Care And Feeding; Torchwood, PG
Torchwood
Title: Care And Feeding
Pairing: Jack/OMC, Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None, really.
Notes: This is a sort of paradox; it's a chronological prequel to Nice Coat, by [info]adina_atl, but was written second. Nice Coat is a genius of a fic and you should definitely read it first; the ideas laid out in this fic are all Adina's, I just nicked them to play around with.

Care And Feeding )
24th-Aug-2008 12:09 pm - In Another Life, Ch 4 of 7; PG-13.
Doctor Who
Thanks to: [info]mcgonagalls_cat and [info]spiderine for betas; any remaining rough edges are my fault for not listening to them.

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

In Another Life, 4/7 )
22nd-Aug-2008 12:30 pm - In Another Life, Ch 3 of 7; PG-13.
Doctor Who
Thanks to: [info]spiderine and [info]mcgonagalls_cat for betas.
Credits: Quotes in this fic come from "Whose Body" and "The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club" by Dorothy Sayers.

Chapter One | Chapter Two

In Another Life, 3/7 )
20th-Aug-2008 10:05 pm - In Another Life, Ch 2 of 7; PG-13
Doctor Who
In this chapter, there's a visual I couldn't quite capture. When you come across it you'll see why I used this image; that is a genuine Armani blazer-jacket. I thought I might as well make a nice "book cover" for the fic as long as I was showing it off, which is fifty thousand words long and therefore almost the length of a novel.

You can find Chapter One here.

In Another Life 2/7 )
19th-Aug-2008 12:15 pm - In Another Life; Ch 1 of 7, PG-13.
Doctor Who
Title: In Another Life
Summary: An all-too-human Doctor begins to build a life with Rose Tyler, but old ghosts -- both real and imagined -- still haunt him. And there's only so much human life you can live without a name...
Rating: PG-13.
Notes: Completed fic, should be posted fairly rapidly over the course of the week -- I'm just getting the later parts beta'd. Primarily Doctor Who, but also incorporating some Torchwood without any extensive knowledge of Torchwood required. Who spoilers through Journey's End; no significant Torchwood spoilers.
Thanks to: [info]mcgonagalls_cat and [info]spiderine for betas. Any remaining rough edges are my fault for not listening to them. :D

In Another Life, 1/7 )
3rd-Aug-2008 09:28 pm - Torchwood and Doctor Who snippets
Doctor Who
Title: Torchwood and Doctor Who Snippets
Rating: PG-13 for language and sexual themes.
Notes: So, I cleaned out my LJ the other day (I clean when I'm nervous) and found a whole bunch of old fic snippets I'd never got round to doing anything with. I thought I might as well archive them here. These aren't going to go any further, I think, but they were fun to write and I may as well share them, eh?

Torchwood and Doctor Who Snippets )
3rd-Aug-2008 09:27 pm - Heroes Snippets
Heroes
Title: Heroes Snippets
Rating: No more than PG-13, only for swearing.
Notes: So, I cleaned out my LJ the other day (I clean when I'm nervous) and found a whole bunch of old fic snippets I'd never got round to doing anything with. I thought I might as well archive them here. These aren't going to go any further, I think, but they were fun to write and I may as well share them, eh?

Heroes snippets )
3rd-Aug-2008 09:27 pm - Harry Potter Snippets
Gen Fic
Title: Harry Potter Snippets
Rating: No more than PG.
Notes: So, I cleaned out my LJ the other day (I clean when I'm nervous) and found a whole bunch of old fic snippets I'd never got round to doing anything with. I thought I might as well archive them here. These aren't going to go any further, I think, but they were fun to write and I may as well share them, eh?

Harry Potter Snippets )
14th-Jul-2008 08:25 pm - No Word For Yes; Torchwood, PG-13
Torchwood
Title: No Word For Yes
Rating: PG-13 for shenanigans
Summary: Someday he will have a Jack-to-English dictionary. Though it will contain more than just the words, he supposes. And be unsuitable for children.
Notes: Spoilers for Torchwood post-S2, Doctor who post-S4, with Torchwood S3 casting speculation. Thanks to [info]adina_atl for betareading.

No Word For Yes )
Crossover Fic
Title: The Royal Society
Rating: PG (language)
Fandom: *deep breath* Torchwood/Discworld/Nero Wolfe/Lord Peter/Harry Potter/SGA/Jeeves&Wooster/Sherlock Holmes. EAT THAT.
Summary: It's just a quiet game of poker among colleagues.

There is a gap in the multiverse. )
Torchwood
Title: Edgar van Scyoc Presents: Doctor Who (Sequel to Second City Torchwood)
Rating: PG-13 (mainly for language)
Summary: The American sci-fi drama Torchwood has been renewed for a second season. Its spinoff show, Doctor Who, is much anticipated by fans and critics alike. Managing the actors and getting scripts out on time is nothing new for executive producer Edgar van Scyoc and head writer Ellis Graveworthy, but their own relationship is evolving as well. Follow along as Torchwood defends Chicago from alien gamblers, mad scientists, tentacle monsters, and other menaces, while the Doctor visits the end of the world, a new New York, and eras of time long-past on Earth.
Credit: Sketches by Mia Lee were done by [info]bluejeans07. Most of the manips were done by me, though often the images for the manips were taken from google. Special thanks to everyone who helped with casting for Torchwood. Also thanks to [info]hija_paloma, who let me bounce ideas off her and made interesting observations about my manips.

Chapter One )
Doctor Who
Title: Edgar van Scyoc Presents: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13 (mainly for language)
Summary: As Torchwood's Owen Harper weakens and Tosh and Tommy improve relations with USPAT, the Doctor comes up against one of his oldest enemies. In the meantime, Ellis gives dramatic readings, Edgar gives interviews, and Mia takes every opportunity to make gentle fun. And a new cast member joins the Torchwood crew, a blues-playing Welshman who is very far from home.

Chapter Two )
Torchwood
Title: Edgar van Scyoc Presents: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13 (mainly for language)
Summary: Doctor who, gaining in its reputation as the Scariest Show on Television, brings stories of the first manned lunar landing and creatures who live in the darkness to the television, while Torchwood adapts to a team member without a body and Jack begins to face up to his past with the arrival of Captain John Hart. A Christmas Crossover brings the two shows together, and Edgar and Ellis face up to a few truths of their own.
Author's Notes: The book Ellis Graveworthy reads from is called Recycling Shakespeare, by Charles Marowitz. It was written yea these many years ago, and it is my secret belief that the internet term "wank" originated with someone who had read his works.

Chapter Three )
Doctor Who
Title: Edgar van Scyoc Presents: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13 (mainly for language)
Summary: Torchwood and Doctor Who team up for a three-week crossover series with Dalek invasions, long-lost family, space battles, and plenty of Doctor Who mythology. Meanwhile, Edgar and Ellis attempt to maintain some semblance of a personal life.

Chapter Four )
Torchwood
Title: Edgar van Scyoc Presents: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13 (mainly for language)
Summary: Gareth David-Lloyd joins the Doctor Who cast as Ross Jenkins, helping the Doctor rescue displaced hospitals and meeting William Shakespeare while Torchwood battles alien "werewolves" and confronts victims of the Rift. Meanwhile, Edgar van Scyoc shows off his new tattoo -- and Edgar and Ellis must make some hard decisions when their relationship is threatened by the press.

Chapter Five )
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