House MD Fic: Karma (rated G)
Title: Karma
Fandom: House, MD
Rating: G
Summary: This came about when I was watching Grey's Anatomy while they studied for their medical boards. It's short and pointless, and that's pretty much it.

"House, I am telling you, he does not have a herniated spine."

"And I am telling you that he does!"

"He does not! I should think even you would be able to diagnose a simple neurological disorder -- "

Gregory House, not quite MD yet, threw up his hands and turned away.

"You idiot!" he said. "I'm not talking about the boards exam!"

***

When he reached the bar, Wilson was already chatting up a pretty young thing who would probably just adore knowing that he had a fiancee and a hundred thousand dollars in student loan debt.

"That's so cool!" she squealed as House arrived.

"Honey, I'm finally done," House said, sliding onto the stool next to Wilson. He leaned around to offer the girl his hand. "I'm Gregory."

"Hi..." she said uncertainly. "Nina."

"Fantastic name. Have you been entertaining Jimmy?"

"I was just telling her about our medical board exams," Wilson said, giving House a shut up, you asshole look. "I was telling her about how we have to examine another doctor who's faking a disease and diagnose it. How'd you do?"

"Well..." House sucked breath through his teeth. "Could have gone better. Then again, could have gone worse. Darling, send the waitress away."

"He's not -- we're not -- " Wilson said, as a look of comprehension dawned on the girl's face. "No, he's just -- "

"You two are so cute!" she said. "Good luck, James. I'm sure you passed."

Wilson put his head down on the bar as she walked away, still giggling. House patted the back of his head.

"I hate you," Wilson said.

"Yeah, but you're stuck with me. Wanna hear about my day?"

"No."

"Invasive spinal surgery."

Wilson turned to eyeball him with his head still on the bar. "What?"

"I got to assist on invasive spinal surgery."

"What?"

"Teeeechnically I failed my boards exam. He was pretending to have early-stage Parkinson's."

"And you diagnosed it as...what?"

"Didn't," House said succinctly. "I was busy diagnosing him with an actual herniation in his lumbar vertebrae. They rushed him to surgery. It was, and I do not say this lightly, awesome."

"House, can I ask you a serious question?" Wilson asked.

"Mmm, no. You can buy me a drink, though."

"How come you're such a complete asshole and yet you get all the luck?"

House shrugged, flagging down the barman and ordering a beer.

"I'm sure it'll catch up with me sooner or later," he said.

"You'd better hope it doesn't."

"Relax, God's not going to smite me for ruining your shot at delectable infidelity. There's way better reasons."

Wilson sighed and sipped his drink.

"Here's to Doctor House and Doctor Wilson," he said.

"Long may they reign."

END